so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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