i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.