Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics