I met the friendliest cop last night
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.