Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
