Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize