I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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