I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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