Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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