...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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