All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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