It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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