She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
