why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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