I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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