Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize