we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
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i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
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Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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