hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.