If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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