Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
