Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
