This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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