fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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