i barfeds in our rink
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
