Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize