Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
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I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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