I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
