sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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