Will you blow on my dice?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize