ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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