if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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