Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize