someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night