We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.