I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
it hurts more in the daytime
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning