Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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