I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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