There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
