DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The beers last night were like the tears from god
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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