I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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