lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
