I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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