I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.