at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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