I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The Olympian is in my bed
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.