Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.