Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
