he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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