What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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