i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
