I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
