how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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