Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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