I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
