i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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