This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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